It's 3:27 am....

...so why the H-E-L-L am I awake?!?!?! @$%*#^ this is aggravating. I am a girl who likes my sleep, so the increasing difficulties I am having with it is getting old. I know this is how I will be prepared for the sleepless nights with the little one to come (but really, how prepared can I be? I think I would rather dive into that cold turkey!). So, since I am up and grumpy, now might be a good time to chronicle some of my discomforts and complaints as of late.

Disclaimer: I know how blessed we are to have had such a healthy and easy pregnancy, but sometimes a girl still needs to bitch, you know?

Heartburn: Oh.my.God is this miserable. I have had spurts of this off and on for a while now, but the past few weeks have gotten downright horrific. I can't seem to take a sip of water these days without an immediate backlash of acid burning my chest and throat. And of course lying down to sleep makes it worse. Tums are my new sidekick, and heaven help anyone who gets between me and them. I have so much empathy now for people who deal with chronic reflux and my heart(burn) truly goes out them.

TBS: aka Tiny Bladder Syndrome. Any of you who know me even remotely well know that I have always been cursed with a small bladder so I go to the bathroom more often than is normal. But at least I used to be able to make it through the night. Well, I am SO over this getting up every 2-3 hours to pee thing. I wake up, pressure in my bladder making me worry I won't make it in time, only to get there and manage only about a teaspoon into the toilet. This is what urgently awoke me and forced me to heave my whale-ness out of bed? It's cruel I tell you. Oh, and every now and then this kiddo moves and I swear he punches my bladder causing me instinctive terror and clenching to avoid actually peeing all over myself. That's fun too. Note sarcasm, please.

Random gripes: sore joints, feet that look like sausages about to burst from their casings (see photo of my pretty pedi from today - I LOVE my feet and like to show them off, and to see them this way makes me want to cry), the continued acne on the face and back/chest/shoulders the likes of which I haven't seen since I was about 14 years old, the atrocious pregnancy brain that makes me feel like a crappy friend, family member and wife on a daily basis, feeling so out of shape and out of breath at even the most minute exertion (I require pep talks to myself before even attempting to roll over at night now), having trouble getting into the car and reaching to close the door and then trying to get the seat belt around me, and the never-ending SI joint pain that persists despite yoga, adjustments and massage.

All right. I'm done. I'm gonna go drown my sorrows in some Tums, put on my (leak proof) big girl panties, and try to wrestle the dogs for my spot back in bed. G'night.